A Tale of Two Bunions
Chapter 2 I have bunions, hear me scream.
“What are bunions?”
Was this even a legit question in a job interview? The HR chap looked expectantly at me. “Oh, if you don’t know then you probably don’t have them!” I quipped.
Bunions. They are a foot deformity that stick out like a sore thumb, except that it’s more like a second thumb. And when I tried squeezing all of that into my Bata BM2000 for secondary school, or espadrilles from Printemps or new white reeboks for Junior College or shiny black Mary Janes from Florence for Auditor-ing, or Kenneth Cole pumps for Controller-ing, or blue suede lace ups for Lecturer-ing (all of my most favourite shoes), I got painfully deformed shoes and pink bulging bunions which screamed needles and needles.
Many-a-time I abruptly paused mid-stride in the middle of a street, as if I lost my mind; when the amygdala in my foot goes off, I can only freeze. Those beautiful cobbled streets in South France were the worst triggers. A typical vacation routine: By day I hobbled, and by night I faced retribution.
“It only happens to ladies.”
No lah, that’s inaccurate. I didn’t hear a question, but it needed responding to. Cannot like that say.
Recently, I learnt from my would-be surgeon that my bunions were not the root cause of my discomfort. They were merely symptoms. Apparently, in their baby making, my parents had given me loose ankles and tight calves. The bunions I made myself, by walking.
My father has flat feet. My mother has bunions. My younger sister has bunions. Although it’s not so important to drag out the evidence, it’s very interesting to illustrate the pervasiveness of bunions in the family!1
Explains why there aren’t any dancers or athletes in the family!
So, will I pass the interview? Well, they can’t fault me for not making a full disclosure of my health history! And I’m very much in the pink of health!
TBC in the next chapter! - I was adviced by a kind reader to indicate this. Thank you, you know who you are, my fellow bunionite ( let’s us call ourselves this from now on?) and bunion operation mentor 😉
The bunion tree legend is presented in Teochew, the family mother tongue. Ngiah Ngiah means beautiful. Heng Heng means lucky. Paenh Paenh means flat. Bor mi tiah means not much pain. Zheng Zheng means swollen. Tiah gai see means painful as hell.